Pun Contest
Alright. So you think you’re clever? How about the highest art form out there? Yes, it is time for The Almighty Pun Contest.
Here is a light sample from the past year:
- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
- Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
- Acupuncture is a jab well done.
- Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
- The poor guy fell into a glass grinding machine and made a spectacle of
himself.
No get to punning.
122 Responses to “Pun Contest”
February 25th, 2009 at 10:29 pm
what is a mermaid’s bra made of?
algebra
February 26th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
for all you Hamlet lovers…aka mr. eldridge
Excuse me, sir, whose grave is this?
It’s mine, sir.
I think it really must be yours, since you’re the one lying in it.
February 28th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
What did the mute say to the mime?
March 6th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
If ionized fertilizer is delivered after business hours, the nitrate will be charged.
March 6th, 2009 at 11:28 pm
I wanted to be the announcer at an event, but my Canadian friend was confused at my decision: “YMCA?”
March 7th, 2009 at 9:58 am
With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
March 11th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
As a young boy, Brutus’ mother often cautioned him not to run with Caesars.
March 22nd, 2009 at 6:29 pm
Math teachers have lots of problems.
March 31st, 2009 at 7:30 pm
this is for serious musicians:
Did you hear about the jazz musician who was sustained in an ice box?
He was really Phrygian because he couldn’t open the Dorian.
April 12th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
A bank manager without anyone around may find themself a-loan.
April 22nd, 2009 at 4:03 pm
When there was too many people in the Animal Hat Clan, one of the members said, “there are way to many people in the group, we should cap-off the membership.”
-true story haha
May 3rd, 2009 at 2:13 pm
The untruthful deli clerk was full of baloney.
and another
Yesterday I rode my bike twice, I guess that makes me a recycler.
June 2nd, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall – and a pretty good spring and summer, too.
June 9th, 2009 at 9:39 pm
I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double.
the bartender brought in a guy who looks just like me.
June 9th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
June 17th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Ever since my friend had all the digits amputated from his feet, I find him very annoying.
I think I might be lack-toes intolerant.
June 17th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
If a wolf can take down a deer from either flank, does that make him bambidextrous?
June 17th, 2009 at 7:13 pm
@Keren Mahgerefteh, you spelled bologna wrong…btw
November 29th, 2011 at 4:41 pm
thought this was funny =D
“Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.”
November 29th, 2011 at 5:06 pm
“Some people’s noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run.” -anonymous