Pun Contest

Alright.  So you think you’re clever?  How about the highest art form out there?  Yes, it is time for  The Almighty Pun Contest.

Here is a light sample from the past year:

  • Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
  • Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
  • Acupuncture is a jab well done.
  • Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
  • The poor guy fell into a glass grinding machine and made a spectacle of
    himself.

No get to punning.



122 Responses to “Pun Contest”

  1. what is a mermaid’s bra made of?

    algebra

  2. for all you Hamlet lovers…aka mr. eldridge

    Excuse me, sir, whose grave is this?

    It’s mine, sir.

    I think it really must be yours, since you’re the one lying in it.

  3. What did the mute say to the mime?

  4. If ionized fertilizer is delivered after business hours, the nitrate will be charged.

  5. I wanted to be the announcer at an event, but my Canadian friend was confused at my decision: “YMCA?”

  6. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

  7. As a young boy, Brutus’ mother often cautioned him not to run with Caesars.

  8. Math teachers have lots of problems.

  9. this is for serious musicians:

    Did you hear about the jazz musician who was sustained in an ice box?

    He was really Phrygian because he couldn’t open the Dorian.

  10. A bank manager without anyone around may find themself a-loan.

  11. When there was too many people in the Animal Hat Clan, one of the members said, “there are way to many people in the group, we should cap-off the membership.”

    -true story haha

  12. The untruthful deli clerk was full of baloney.

    and another

    Yesterday I rode my bike twice, I guess that makes me a recycler.

  13. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall – and a pretty good spring and summer, too.

  14. I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double.
    the bartender brought in a guy who looks just like me.

  15. What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

    Anyone can roast beef.

  16. Ever since my friend had all the digits amputated from his feet, I find him very annoying.
    I think I might be lack-toes intolerant.

    :)

  17. If a wolf can take down a deer from either flank, does that make him bambidextrous?

  18. @Keren Mahgerefteh, you spelled bologna wrong…btw

  19. thought this was funny =D

    “Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.”

  20. “Some people’s noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run.” -anonymous

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